There had to be a point in the first hour of the SCOOP $1,050 Main Event final table at which nearly every player couldn’t stand the screwed-up visage of Jim Carrey. There had to be a point that nearly every player thought of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and considered it to be something along the lines of a Shakespearean tragedy directed by Tarantino during his Reservoir Dogs period.
It was going much that way: like a movie where everyone stood in a circle with their guns pointed at each other and some silly soundtrack playing in the background. Standing on the fringes was a man with Jim Carrey’s face as his avatar. He was playing against type. The man who called himself ROFLshove was ruthless. He was a man who rolling-on-the-floor-laughed as he eviscerated you.
In less than an hour as the first four players of the final busted out, ROFLshove had pushed his stack to nearly 120 million. It was roughly half the chips in play with five players remaining.
“This is not real,” he said.
He made it sound as if he couldn’t believe it himself. Anyone watching might have read it differently, perhaps as something more sinister: This is not real. This is all a dream. Just lie back, close your eyes, and let the darkness wash over you.
It was as if everyone knew what was going to happen and wanted to numb the pain from the outset. In the early going, one opponent suggested they talk about a deal. No dice.
“I wanna play, dude,” ROFLshove typed.
With more than 5,000 entries, the $1,050 Spring Championship of Online Poker Main Event prize pool had swollen to more than $5 million. The winner was set to get $787,312.
Instead of playing a goofy pet detective, ROFLshove, a man from Australia, was like a character out of Mad Max, and he was looking for every bit of that first prize. Those players who didn’t fall to each other’s bullets fell to him. It didn’t seem to matter how they went down. The chips were all going in the same direction. With four players left, MikeFdem shoved with pocket fives and hoped it was good. It wasn’t. ROFLshove had jacks. They held, and three were left. It might have been over even sooner but for BrightStripe managing to draw out with queen-ten vs. ROFLshove’s ace-jack. It was only then with three left that ROFLshove said he would look at deal numbers.
And then he said he had to go to the bathroom.
It was a masterstroke. He needed a break, and he took it, returning a minute later to say this:
“I’m gonna be straight up. I just feel like I am gonna win. This whole thing has been like a dream. I am extremely confident in my short-handed game.”
He shot down the idea of an ICM chop immediately and asked to see only chip chop numbers. They were, as you might expect, laughable.
“This is not gonna happen,” BrightStripe said, noting that ROFLshove would’ve been getting close to first place money anyway.
So, ROFLshove agreed to look at the ICM numbers. It was a nice gesture.
“I want more,” ROFLshove said, “or play.”
He wanted $30,000 in addition to the lion’s share. His opponents were lucky he didn’t want to cut off their ears, too.
“Not gonna happen,” BrightStripe said. “I’ve been playing for eight years. If you Sharkscope me you’ll see that I am definitiely not an underdog here.”
“You wanna go to town, I understand,” ROFLshove said. I mean, who outside of a film character says that?
On the fringes, Léo82 (outfitted with an innocent Ferris Bueller avatar) quipped, “I work on a bank… money is not problem to me.”
And that was that. No deal.
So, perhaps to the chagrin of the others left in the game, the match continued as a fait accompli.
It didn’t take long before Léo82 did in BrightStripe after the latter got A♣10♣ in pre-flop against J♠A♠. Léo82 flopped two pair and BrightStripe was gone in third. Léo82, down almost 2-1 in chips, immediately asked to see revised deal numbers.
You know how this goes.
HostKristofM (Administrator): ROFLshove:$679,224.68
HostKristofM (Administrator): Léo82:$634,432.01
HostKristofM (Administrator): Left To Play for place 1: $60,000.00
Léo82: i would take that
ROFLshove: i will agree to 700K flat play for 60K
ROFLshove: i just got a good feeling ￼ and love HU
Léo82 had two words for him:
And that’s where it looked like things would change. Léo82 managed to do something that no one else had done for the whole final table: he took the chip lead.
He got pocket tens in versus ROFLshove’s pocket eights. The tens held, and all of a sudden, the foregone conclusion of ROFLshove’s victory was no longer so foregone. After trading blows for an hour, Léo82 moved out to a 3-1 lead…and then lost it after losing a race with pocket sixes vs. ace-queen.
“Now we got a game,” ROFLshove said.
From there, you only needed to fast-forward the film. Ace Ventura vs Ferris Bueller. In Hollywood, they’d both win. In poker…well, you know the drill.
ROFLshove had his man out-chipped 4-1, open-shoved with A♠7♥. He got called with K♠9♥, held, and rolled the credits on his own movie. It wasn’t entirely wire-to-wire, but it’s about as close as you’ll find. ROFLshove had his SCOOP Main Event win.
“Time for drinks on the beach,” he said
Alrighty then, indeed.
SCOOP $1,050 Main Event results
Total entries: 5,033
Prize pool: $5,033,000
Places paid: 720
1. ROFLshove (Australia) $787,312,19
2. Léo82 (Brazil)$586.344.50
3. BrightStripe (Austria) $415,222.50
4. MikeFdem (Canada) $284,364.50
5. ramondemon77 (Romania) $213.902.50
6. olelemaiko (Bulgaria) $163,572.50
7. Woodstock37 (Canada) $113.242.50
8. Yurec1707 (Ukraine) $62,912
9. BORRAURELIO (Brazil) $40,264