EPT London: Alien in our midst

October 03, 2009


It was 1988. The Cold War was about to end. Hustler’s Larry Flynt won a landmark case in the U.S. Supreme Court. Super Mario Bros. 3 was released in Japan.

And in Kharkiv, Ukraine, a boy was born who a mere 21 years later would be described as “not human.”

There is something particularly unsettling about the boy who moved to the U.S. when he was ten. It’s not that he boasts near perfect features–as if they were created by someone from a far off planet who had access to fashion magazines and skin care ads. It’s not that his name takes a lot of practice to pronounce.

It’s that Yevgeniy Timoshenko has an almost alien intelligence when it comes to poker.

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Known as Jovial Gent on PokerStars, Timoshenko is famous for several reasons, but the most recent accomplishment came when he won the 2009 World Championship of Online Poker main event for $1.7 million.

Upon his victory, Team PokerStars Pro Maria “maridu” Mayrinck declared Timoshenko, “not human.” There weren’t many people who spoke up to disagree.

It would be one thing if WCOOP was his only result. It would be a big thing, but it would only be one thing.

But it’s not just a singular win for the man barely old enough play in American casinos. But in just the past couple of years, the Ukrainian-American has amassed more than $6 million in winnings.

It’s happened on the World Poker Tour where he won $2.1 million at the Bellagio. It’s happened in Macau where he won another title and half a million bucks. And it’s severall other first place finishes and final tables that puts him among some of the biggest money winners of his generation.

Indeed, that is a generation that didn’t even start until most of us had started shaving.

While the rest of us stare into the mirror this evening at our graying beards and wonder if we’ve still got enough of our per diem to buy a banana, Timoshenko sits among the field in the final level of EPT London Day 1B.

There’s not much more to say than that. He is simply here and probably preparing to call the mothership to collect more of his winnings.

We have only one simple request: Yevgeniy, if you ever decide to go home…please take us with you.


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