April Foolishness coming at PokerStars

So, this was a real problem.

Yesterday I wrote this post about Viktor Blom and Isaac Haxton playing a heads-up match for $1 million this weekend. I thought it was pretty straight-forward and full of seriousness. But, noooooooo. Everyone in the comments and forums thought I was involved in some elaborate April Fools prank.

Let me be clear about something: something very significant in my life happened on April 1. Something…well, it’s personal. Let’s just say it involved…well, it’s personal. Let’s just say…it’s a significant day in a young man’s life. And so, after this happened, I found a calendar to note the day on which this significant thing happened in my life and found it was, in fact, April Fools Day.

I’m not joking.

So, to be clear. From that moment forward, I’ve been very careful about not making a joke of April 1, lest it affect my ability to…well, again, these are personal matters.

But it was no joke!

So, just as I’d finally convinced the world that the Blom and Haxton thing was for real, my buddies in the tournament office at PokerStars came calling. All of the above makes this sort of awkward for me, you see. But let’s just get to it.

This Sunday (yes, April Fools Day), PokerStars will be running three special tournaments that, in a normal world, make no sense at all, but on Sunday should fit right in with everything else that’s happening around you. The tournaments are real. Only the structures are a joke (but, even those are real, too). All three of these tournaments are $2.20 to enter at start at 15:15 ET on Sunday April 1.

No, really. Let’s just get to it, shall we?

Bryan’s Tourney: An Ante-Up tournament for the people who like the number eight. Eight players per table, the top 88 get paid, 8-minute levels, blinds always 8/8, but antes starting at 8 and go up to 88,888. And of course, you’ll start with 888 chips. FYI: The tourney is capped at 8,888 players. Natch. Just search for tourney #588888888.

Steve’s Flipament: Let’s just see how good you run. You start with 1,000 chips. The blinds start at 500/1,000. It’s flip or be gone. Win your flip or you’re done. Levels last three minutes and only the final table gets paid. To find it, look for tourney #539981493.

Mike’s Tourney: You want to talk about a knockout tournament? This is a knock-out tournament. It’s a Super Heads-Up Knockout Tournament! There are two ways to make money in this event. You either knock out your heads-up opponent and get their bounty, or you win the whole thing and take the rest of the prize pool. Other than the bounty money, it’s winner-take-all with no final table deals. That event is #539992751.

Fredrik’s Tourney: This one takes some time to understand (also offers little time to win). It’s a time tournament that lasts just two hours. In the meantime, it’s a six-max, knockout bounty. If you’re still alive at the end of 120 minutes, you make money!

To protect my April 1 virtue, I need to be clear about this: these tournaments are real. They’re ridiculous, but they are real. It will cost you real money to enter them, and you will win real money if you luckbox your way to the end. It’s no prank. It’s just stupid. But, it’s also a ton of fun.

Now, go forth into this weekend, and if you’re a young man looking for that particularly significant moment to happen in your life, do your best to avoid letting it happen on Sunday. Otherwise you could end up like me.