Please let this missive serve as notice that we will no longer be writing weekend wraps from the PokerStars online Sunday majors. Yes, we've been doing it for years. Yes, it's one of our more popular weekly features. Yes, we're pretty much required by law to put one up each week. Yes, it's what our bosses call our "job." But, frankly, there is little reason to keep it up.
So, each Monday morning from here forward, we plan to just post the following picture and let you assume the guy won everything--all the money, all the championships, and, while we're at it, access to your women and beer supply.
If you don't recognize the face from your nightmares about going broke, that is Anders "Donald" Berg. We've formally entered a petition to PokerStars management to re-name every Sunday tournament in Berg's honor. All buy-ins will just be transferred into the "Donald" account.
Lest you think we're wallowing in hyperbole, here's a little evidence:
This weekend alone, Berg made five final tables in Sunday majors.
FIVE SUNDAY MAJOR FINAL TABLES!
Okay, if you're not impressed yet, you're probably the John Holmes of poker. Let's try this: of the five final tables Berg made this week, he WON four of the tournaments.
There are people who go months without making a final table. There are folks who make it years without a tournament win.
Donald made five final tables and won four tournaments this weekend alone.
So, that's it, folks. This report is now just a picture of Anders Berg. This is the Berg report. We quit.
(Just a sec...ah...really?)
Okay, as it turns out, if we do that, we'll get fired. I can't afford to get fired this week, as I'm due to give Berg a couple grand for using his name so many times in one report. And my kid's tuition is due.
Alright, so the Sunday majors report will continue. For this week, be sure to check out some of the big stories from this weekend.
If you'd like a look at the couple of tournaments Berg didn't win this weekend, check out the 6-27-10 PokerStars Sunday tournaments report.
This just in...Berg has won the World Cup, Super Bowl, World Series (of baseball!), and a game of Connect 4 with my son. My luck, he's going to show up at my weekly game tonight...